Cardboard for nothing

I want my,

I want my,

I want my accessories.

We’re still movin’

refrigerators.

Cash and carry

4K HD TVs.

Throw out your old one.

It needs replacin’.

Garbage men’ll toss it

for a minimal fee.

Oh, the pollution?

It’s deregulated

since they shut down

governmental entities.

Naw, they ain’t workin’.

Our hazards are excluded.

Let me tell ya.

No guidelines, son.

EPA can’t touch me with their

little finger.

Oversight has dwindled down to none.

We pack and ship your living room plug-ins

in less than two days–we do it for free.

Now, we include these neat packin’ peanuts.

We include this cardboard you don’t need.

Look here.

If you’re concerned, get EnergyStar.

If you’re concerned, unplug when done.

Look at that washer–

got a super-silent spin cycle, man.

Plays chimes when it’s done.

Look up there. Like that? Plastic cake-mixers!

The Garbage Patch is open for disposals, you see.

No, yours ain’t workin’. Buy yourself a new one.

Get your receipt at checkout and bisphenol for free.

We pack and ship your kitchenette plug-ins

in less than two days–we do it for free.

Now we include these neat packing peanuts.

We include this cardboard you don’t need.

I want my,

I want my,

I want my accessories.

  • Chris Miller

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